Kayfucius

I am not okay…

…but I guess I’ve wanted to be for so long
that I pretended I was.
I function.
And often, I’m even happy;
Smiles, rare conversation –
y’know…pleasantries.
But when I look at my life,
I realize how many of the things I own
first belonged to someone else’s collection –
of thoughts, ideas, innovations

and I’m flustered
at my lack of ability and motivation
to create my own collections –
Have I ever really owned
any of the pieces of my life?

To think, for myself –
I once wanted the world,
but only so I could give it back
to its natives
and its guardians.

Now, instead, I’ve assimilated –
and donate my ideas
to unworthy organizations
for mere pittances;
any salaries received
less than my true worth;
insulting to my value –

– My intellect could build nations
if I just focused it
on making changes
rather than making small change.

Just [enough] to get by?
But it’s not…enough.
Enough to simply coexist
when I should truly live.

My mind is encrypted
and at rest;
Its data valuable.
At ease, at attention…
I soldier through endless days
using my intelligence
to feed artificially-generated
consciousness.

Existence is a given,
life a gift –
Though I own my existence,
I’ve given too much of life
to those who don’t value
humanity.

And it’ll be now
that I reclaim my own life,
and create the future
I want to see.

I remain limitless
boundaries can’t fathom me.

And so, I’m not okay…
But I am pretty phenomenal.