Posted in life, Poetry

Jackknife

I’ve been hiding myself in the days,

watching them slide past

like the scenery on a road trip…

Burying myself in work,

busying my mind every way possible.

Cautiously numb…

Getting lost in music

and wayward thoughts

is too much a pastime now,

pretending that all is well

carrying on like life didn’t just

shift…

Wishing you were still here

[While] still refusing to acknowledge

that you’re actually not anymore;

All to avoid the deep and lancing blows

of sorrow’s jackknife

and the chunks losing you

cut from me.

I have these gaping holes

in my spirit and memory

and the vague yet poignant sense that

nothing is normal anymore.

So…

I spend my days chasing sameness

not wanting to face the change truth brings

or admit how much

I miss you already.

Posted in life, love, Poetry

Love Song

You always remind me of

those old love songs

we listened to

as we drove around

the city

warm sunlight and summer breeze on our faces

talking about life

and how we imagined

our future selves.

The way our smiles outshone the sun;

even as it set

and our words were the stars

lighting the quiet sky

that reminded us of the time

we lost track of,

wild and bright and neverending…

we were so young

back then

but the music we lived

and loved

and made

together

bound us to

the old souls

we share.

Our kiss

eternal supernova

flames and color

and light.

Our laughter strikes the sweetest chords.

You’ve always been

my favorite love song.

Posted in life, Poetry

Wine Down (Today Fell)

Suddenly,

today fell

onto me –

crashing down all at once,

a rockfall

physical and mental weight;

it’s heavy

there, but not actually –

each tear

a hammer drop

and for the first time,

I couldn’t take it

as it all caved in…

Grief;

my solid, silent companion

all I could feel.

At least

I can’t find her shadows anymore,

not as numb –

I should put this

wine down.

 

08 April 2020

Posted in life, Poetry, Random, Self-discovery and growth

Watch Me Rise

I never get to write when I want,
someone always has a need –
And I bleached my favorite layering shirt
It only sorta kinda hurt.

I may need a cup of tea.
Or maybe a little time for me;
Could be that I’m internalizing anxiety and worry –
still meditating,
but lately, in a hurry.

My hair’s getting long now
and it’s in need of a trim
My scalp is sore
send moisture please – hydration?
Prognosis is grim.

I gained 5 pounds,
for the most part, I like where it went…
but this pudge on my waist ain’t taking the same hints.

I wanna walk,
go clear my mind
spend time with the moon
but there’s just too much going on in the world
this time.
Soon come, and coming soon…

I wanna blow trees
like a mischievous breeze
follow my thought streamers
through subconscious skies –
ride the clouds…

Watch me rise.

As long as I always
know my soul
I’ll simply find other ways
to hold myself in control.

My mind, my spirit
gently roam
but I never get
too far from home.

Posted in life, Poetry

[Of] Vines and Branches

The vines and the trees

Always convince me I need things,

like ice cream and

chicken wings…

I don’t.

Swinging with one,

swaying with the other;

Thinking’s hard done

with half-mast

and full glass.

Solace entwined

in the branches –

flowering through my mind.

 

03 April 2020
Posted in life, Poetry

Other Than Here.

Maybe I shouldn’t read

right now,

but books are one of the only escapes

I have –

Hiatus from the blue shadows

of life’s ups and downs.

They’re the thing

that allow me to lose

all awareness of the world

outside my mind

if only for just

a moment.

The universe inside

a home away [from home].

Books are my

down by the oceanfront,

watching the waves

carry my thoughts away;

Justification for the tears

I cry for the world

but don’t want

them to see.

They are the passport

to the places

I can’t freely travel.

Books help

feed the wanton need

to be someplace

other than

here.