Can’t keep up,
can’t back down –
Speak optimistically
internally I frown
because maybe I’m doing too much,
though it feels I do little;
As such,
I quickly lose focus
and get to feeling quite bogus.
All of this feels…wrong
I feel like I just don’t belong:
Not even wanting to fit in
I just want to celebrate
my small wins…
Instead of beating myself up for
not conquering the entire mountain.
Scaling for score;
Still feeling there should be more.
Either something’s missing
Or I’m missing something.
Trade tears
For fears
I’m posturing
to hide my bad posture…
Tripping over self-doubt
Self-confidence won’t
come into the out.
I can’t figure out why
I kill myself
hoping to die…
In competition with only me,
shadows are always hard to see.
I’ve nothing to prove
to anyone’s roster –
incessant syndrome on the move.
One day, maybe,
I’ll feel less of an
impostor.
October 4, 2020
Kayfucius 