Kayfucius

A collective of thoughts, poetry, writing works, blurbs, and other randomosity

Self-aware and self-conscious;

anxiety creeping

makes me too intense…

Yet still I spill my soul

all over you

hoping you’ll sop me up,

that you’ll be the one who just…gets me;

that it’ll all make sense.

I think I’ve been searching for

that kind of forever friend in everyone

I meet,

everyone I know…

They all fall short,

Either not there enough;

Or there too much

the space in between others letting me

be [myself] and me just…letting others be

is muddy, defunct in the haze

of actuality.

Expectations and dwindling self-confidence

forcing silent pleas

for someone to just try to overstand my

complicated nuances,

and accept them

and me wholly; as I am.

Instead, I settle for

simple companionship –

complacent in my own solid resignation

to the fact that no one in my life

is selfless enough

to love me as purely and completely as I’ve always

done my best to love myself.

It doesn’t hurt as much as it used to…

Loving you,

exploring the world as I know it,

has numbed my heart

around the edges.

Maybe it’s better this way,

I’m always too high up in the

clouds

to commiserate with gravity anyway.

 

052021

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johncoyote

Poetry, story and real life. Once soldier, busnessman, grandfather and Poet.

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Kayfucius

A collective of thoughts, poetry, writing works, blurbs, and other randomosity

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