Posted in New Work, Poetry, Self-discovery and growth, Thoughts and Ruminations, Uncategorized

Enigma of Existence

Often,
I feel like that lone puzzle piece
that doesn’t really fit
into any other puzzles

And yet, hope of finding its true place
is the enigma of its existence –

It’s worn enough around the edges
that it can pretend to fit for a while
in mildly disjointed puzzles;
Until it pops loose,
and is exposed as abnormality…

Cast aside
until it almost fits into a different puzzle.
And so such cycles continue until
it’s cut to fit
and lacquered,
pressed into place –

Uncouth edges
suddenly glossy and smooth
which only really emphasize
its uncertain position…

How unique it was
When set carefully apart.

Posted in New Work, Poetry, Uncategorized

Pheno(t)menally Okay

I am not okay…

…but I guess I’ve wanted to be for so long
that I pretended I was.
I function.
And often, I’m even happy;
Smiles, rare conversation –
y’know…pleasantries.
But when I look at my life,
I realize how many of the things I own
first belonged to someone else’s collection –
of thoughts, ideas, innovations

and I’m flustered
at my lack of ability and motivation
to create my own collections –
Have I ever really owned
any of the pieces of my life?

To think, for myself –
I once wanted the world,
but only so I could give it back
to its natives
and its guardians.

Now, instead, I’ve assimilated –
and donate my ideas
to unworthy organizations
for mere pittances;
any salaries received
less than my true worth;
insulting to my value –

– My intellect could build nations
if I just focused it
on making changes
rather than making small change.

Just [enough] to get by?
But it’s not…enough.
Enough to simply coexist
when I should truly live.

My mind is encrypted
and at rest;
Its data valuable.
At ease, at attention…
I soldier through endless days
using my intelligence
to feed artificially-generated
consciousness.

Existence is a given,
life a gift –
Though I own my existence,
I’ve given too much of life
to those who don’t value
humanity.

And it’ll be now
that I reclaim my own life,
and create the future
I want to see.

I remain limitless
boundaries can’t fathom me.

And so, I’m not okay…
But I am pretty phenomenal.

Impostor

Remove the mask
and away falls the fear,
the doubt, the shame
of not being “acceptable,”
of not living beyond expectation
and custom.
Shadow and pain fade to ash.
And revealed is
authenticity, validation, color, and light;
self is shining, and it is free.
But, only in solitude –
For in society,
liberty is frowned upon;
We’re to pursue it, not possess it…
And so the mask is replaced,
self again contained.
Society smiles
and the mask does too –
but beyond it
self feels an insecure impostor.