I think I’m ready now to face down my shadows; The ones that burrow deep and that I attempt to run and hide from even in my sleep. I’m not afraid of what they’ll reveal, not even fearful of what they’ll make me feel. I don’t worry about how they’ve marred my soul – I determined long …
I think I like most of the things about myself that I say out loud I don’t – I self-deprecate to deflect the attention that part of me actually secretly desires but that I also hope happens organically; I haven’t figured out how to do that so instead I just push it all away. And …
Can’t keep up, can’t back down – Speak optimistically internally I frown because maybe I’m doing too much, though it feels I do little; As such, I quickly lose focus and get to feeling quite bogus. All of this feels…wrong I feel like I just don’t belong: Not even wanting to fit in I just …
My poetry is a little dark; Because I like to illuminate my shadows instead of carrying them with me.
I lit my lighterto fight fire with fire…Only the cherriesremain extinguishedand I struggleto distinguishbetween fear, fantasy, and fun – and the reality I seek solace from. Can’t hide forever,wish though that I neverencountered the anti-good,destroyer of innocenceruination of childhood. If onlymy thoughts would stoptheir uncouth amalgam of flop,if I could just get pastmy presentwhere it …
Highly intense, and so much more awkward; lapses in social skills and judgments results of consistent self-isolation from being ostracized in public space… Because, never give them the opportunity to do it for you… Time spent in my own mental space stripping me of the ability to properly converse with other persons of being… writing …
It seems like the more I align with myself and move my life in what I know to be the right direction, the more people [think: family + some friends] think I am pulling away from them. And honestly, maybe I am…we all have our own [life] paths to travel, and as I grow, I’ll …
I have some trouble telling people all my “used-tos,” It leads down this rabbit hole of more things I used to do, think, be, say, see. And it seems like I have issues, but honestly, they’re more like Editions… every one more distinct than its predecessor, and each a different minefield to navigate. I used …
I beast.
Because, running a blog while working, parenting, and wifing full-time, while holding it all together?! Hello. It me. 👋🏾
Not bragging, just proud of myself and how far I’ve come, compared to who I once was.
I love all the squiggles, scratches, scrawls, scribbles carets and paragraph marks unexpected brackets, write-overs, and random annotations that swirl boldly through most of my handwritten work. They all highlight mistakes, yet also remind how quickly the mind moves to make sense of all its random, unordered chaos and then create art from it. Inspiration …
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